Scientists at NASA built a device to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets, the space shuttle, etc. The idea being to simulate collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the device and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made and a device was sent to the British engineers.
When device was fired, the British engineers were shocked… the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer’s back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA responded with a one-line memo: “Defrost the chicken”.
A man holding a pet boa constrictor walks into a night club to get a drink and sits next to a blind man.
He orders a drink and water for his buddy, the boa.
The blind man says, “Hey, no one drinks water at the bar.”
The boa’s owner smiles and replies, “My buddy does.”
The blind man replies, “I gotta meet you guys.” He reaches over to the other man and touches his face.
He says “Round, Beard, & Brows – you’re a 30 year old Irish man”.
Next, he reaches over the the boa and touches it’s face.
He says, “Slimey, Scaley, & Cold.
You must be the club owner”.